The teenage years are the period of time between being a little kid and an adult. There are three "tasks" of the teenage years--not tasks like cleaning your room, taking out the trash or doing your homework, but there are three things we must try to figure out related to who we are before we become adults.
One is our identity: who you are or who you think you are. That may seem kind of hard to think about especially difficult to think about when you're a young teenager. Just know that your identity is how you think about yourself. It's of all the conclusions you make about yourself, who you are, and why you exist.
The second is called Autonomy. What does that mean, you ask? That's a big word that just means "being unique" or "being different." Our second task is to figure out how you're different from other people. It's about figuring out if you and your choices really matter.
The third task is affinity. Affinity is a fancy word for things that are alike. So the goal of this task is about figuring out where you belong, where you fit. Little kids fit into their family. Adults find a way to fit into a certain community or group of people. Where do you fit? Where do you belong?
This is not something that happens all at once or in a particular order. No need to write anything down or stress over it It doesn't work that way. You have to try things on kinda of like trying on new clothes and of course you'll make some bad decisions and learn from them along the way. We all have to experience success and failure.
OTHER TEENAGE EXPECTATIONS:
Major differences between being a little kid and being a teenager... I'm sure you've already noticed
When you were a little kid, people had pretty simple expectations, like:
- Listen and look at mom when she talks.
- Eat your food so you can have desert.
- Be respectful to your parents and other adults.
- Don't lie.
- Cover your mouth and nose when you sneeze or cough.
Pretty simple stuff. But now that you're a teenager, this really begins to change. This can be frustrating at times. But it can also be pretty nice because, hey, you're on your way to adulthood:
- We are now expected you to have conversations with our parents or other adults.
- We are expected to do your part to help. Mom's favorite saying "I'm not your maid."
- We also are expected to make decisions and deal with the consequences.
- Our parents know we don't want to be treated like a little kid yet they are frustrated when we act like a little kid. Do you blame them?
This is a lot of change. It's HUGE! Really, it all comes down to two things: responsibility and freedom. You want them both. Parents and teachers will start to give them to you, although probably not as quickly, or as much, as we would like.
Enjoy the change... go with it... but remember it's not all about you.. we must give as much as we take. It will truly make the change easier and more rewarding.
Brittany Deaville
Your Fresh Face of Soffe 2012
